It’s been a while since I updated this. The holidays have come and gone. They were good. They were bad. They were different. Some parts I will hold close to my heart
forever, others I will happily let fall to the wayside, memories to be lost in
the dust.
One thing that did happen over the holidays was that in a
moment of having a wee bit too much champagne I sent a message to a friend
asking if she’d do a 5K with me in 2016.
She enthusiastically said yes.
Now even though I was tipsy, I had logic to asking this person. See, she won’t let me get out of doing
it. She won’t buy my excuses, she won’t
let me play the handicap card, and she will hold me to doing this.
I happened to post on Facebook that I was doing a 5k and had
more friends offer to do them with me. I
capped it at 4. That seems insane to me,
but an exciting challenge all the same.
As scared as I am of the pain and my capabilities, I can’t help but
think of what my body will be like by the time I finish that 4th
one. Stronger? I’d hope so.
Perhaps more of a curiosity will be what my brain will be like.
Deep down there is the voice that says “you can’t do this!” I’m working on the louder voice that
confidently says “just watch me!”
I thought I trained for my last one, but since my body still
tenses up when I think of repeating that walk, I’m thinking I might not have
had the best methods. This time I did
ask for help in getting my training set up and I’ve been following it pretty
regularly. I started with 12 minutes of
just a nice steady pace and I’ve been adding a minute to it every workout. Depending on the way my legs feel, I play
with intervals as well. As I approach 20
minutes I’m easing closer and closer to a steady mile and within a week or so I
will be walking over a mile, building on that.
Last night was 19 minutes and I walked .81 without pain or
much struggle. While there is part of me
that thinks “well, compared to …” and I’m learning to stop myself. I’m done comparing myself to others. This is my journey, my body, my progress.
Instead I looked at my pace (2.6 mph, up from the 2.2 I
started with) and saw .81 and I smiled.
It didn’t cross my mind last night, but today I reflected on my years of
physical therapy. I can remember parking
my wheelchair at the end of a treadmill, getting up on it in a wobbly fashion,
and plodding along at maybe a clip of .5 and keeping my eyes deadlocked on the
time, praying for the minutes to pass. I
can’t honestly remember how many minutes I’d ever make it, but I am positive it
was never beyond 5 and every step was with a death grip on the handles.
I’m still working on that death grip. I’ll admit it, treadmills still scare
me. I need to get over my self-consciousness
and clip that little stop thing on me so if I do wander off course it will stop
it and I won’t tumble off the end.
I think the biggest reward of doing these 5Ks is already
happening. I’m learning to trust and
appreciate my body. A week and a half
ago I shook and would take a few tries just to step up on the treadmill
platform. That motion is getting
easier. My gate is getting
smoother. I am finding a rhythm.
Oh yes, I will be strong … er. You see, I realize that I already am strong
or I wouldn’t even been entertaining this idea or training. Now it’s just about celebrating the process
and progress!
