Some things have changed, but I am excited to have my first Christmas Eve to myself! No traveling, no sitting alone in a crowded room, and no need to stress.
It’s no coincidence that this is the first Christmas Eve that I didn’t shop for the “perfect” thing to wear. It never even occurred to me to look for anything new. I thought about it the other day and felt such joy! What a sign of healing to realize that I finally feel good enough about myself that I no longer care about fitting in and trying to be good enough for people.
I’d chatted with a few friends about how to get out of things gracefully, without being cruel or burning bridges. I’ve been looking for ways to distance myself from people and situations that don’t bring me happiness. I’ve had a life time of doing things to put the needs and feelings of others above my own and I wanted to learn how to change.
Funny how when you throw things out into the universe, changes happen! As days went by it was apparent I was being left out of a traditional gathering. I confirmed it and the peace that radiated through my body was instantaneous! Every day since then I feel the glow growing and it is literally bubbling out of me! It’s such a pure sense of happiness and I keep grinning and thinking FREEDOM! I can’t think of many ways to end the year better!
I wasted no time cleansing my photos in my phone, Facebook and my walls. I feel like sage has warded away evil spirits! Unfriended, removed phone numbers, threw stuff away, and let everything be the past. There is no going backwards. There are no repairs, no fixing, no going back to what once was. No regrets either!
My goal for 2023 is to keep being true to myself and letting that truth be reflected in who I align myself with. I’ll never care about big houses, sports cars, designer clothes, and how much money someone is worth. I’ll also never care about people who are nothing but their possessions. So many theories on what those people are compensating for, but I don’t care about theories. If you choose to knock someone down rather than lift them up, you’re not my quality of person.
I am blessed with the best friends and family. They accept me for me, encourage me to be less compromising with those who don’t deserve it, and because of that I feel better mentally than I have in years! I lost myself somewhere, but I’ve found myself again! I’m never changing myself to fit someone else’s mold again!
