Boom boom boom, even brighter than the moon moon moon!

So this happened ....

For many years I've wanted to add to my piercings.  Many.  Like over 6 years at least.  But something has always held me back.

Yesterday I figured out what was holding me back.  It was my worry about what everybody else would think!  Would they think it's stupid?  Silly?  Inappropriate?  Ugly? 

I realized something very important.  All these years I've cared more about other people's happiness more than my own.  I finally had the comprehension that I was caring more about other people than I was caring for myself.

This especially was brought to my focus after swallowing my fears about posting to FB about my goals and intentions.  I was so afraid to share that post.  So afraid to open myself to judgment.  Doing it was liberating and exhilarating.   Many people have no idea how guarded I am with what I share and who I trust.

I wasn't sure what I'd get in response to that post.  As expected, my girlfriends who always have my back chimed in.  I know they are there for me, but baring my soul a bit and having them love me just the same was awesome.  There are some others that I hoped might give me the thumbs up, but didn't.  I could have felt sad about that, but that's not what I took from it.  Instead I took the insight that doing what makes me happy and healthy is what matters, not what other people think or don't think.

For what ever reason some people didn't acknowledge my post and it doesn't matter.  Maybe they didn't see it or didn't like it or maybe they don't even care or they do care, but don't know what to say.  That's OK, I didn't need their permission or approval to make my declaration.  At the time I failed to see how it applied to the rest of my life.  You know, until that moment it hit me.

I've spent most of my life putting other people's happiness over my own.  If you hurt me with your actions and your words, I will hide and cry, but I will never ever treat you the same way back because it might hurt your feelings.  I'm not changing myself in that way.  I'd rather be nice to someone than cause them pain, but I'm letting myself be happy first.  I've been told this many times, but it never truly sunk in with me, but who cares what other people think?  Really, who cares if they are even thinking anything about me, because they might not be.

How sad that I've wanted to pierce my ear for well over 6 years, but didn't because I didn't want to hear the comments.  How sad that I denied myself something based just on someone's comfort level.  How sad that I didn't .... well, how sad for a lot of things.

But that's not my message here.  This isn't about sadness, it's about empowering myself.  I said that yesterday was my Independence Day.  Yep, my personal one.  It clicked yesterday.  I said to myself "self -- let's do it!"  OK, I didn't say that.  It was more a "ooooo I'm doing it!" and off I went.  

It made me happier than I thought it would!  I smile when I see my ear in the mirror!

My celebration of my independence.

Didn't know all those fireworks were for me now, did you?