For the last six months my job has been causing me a lot of stress. It's been enough to bother my sleep, which means it's bad. The main issue is that we are changing our library operating system. Everything I've been doing for 15 years is going to change.
The most stressful part is that I'm on the transition committee. Really, I feel like this was the equivalent of putting a color blind person on sock sorting duty. It's not that I think I'm stupid, I just know it takes me a while to learn things and I prefer hands on learning. A lot of what we are doing is abstract.
Since July/August I have known that I had to pass a test to be a certified administrator of this system. Since then I've been waiting to feel like I had a grasp on the materials to take the test. Since yesterday was such a pivotal day with my fat, I thought why not make today another big step!
I took the test! I passed the test on my first try!!! It was a 40 question, 90 minute timed test and I finished it in 50 minutes ... and only messed up one section, so I PASSED! It seems passe to say I feel a weight lift off my shoulders, but seriously, I feel it. I was instantly happier, calmer, more relaxed and felt lighter than I have in months.
A year from now I'll be laughing at myself for ever being this nervous about the system. I year from now we'll be 6 months in on using it and I'll wonder how we did things without it. Until then, I just have a lower level of stress until we go live in June.
I am kind of curious how much I've eaten/drank to detract from the real emotions of this test. I'm guessing quite a bit, because it's never been too out of my thoughts. It's been lurking, popping up a few times a week at work and sometimes out of the blue on the weekends. I don't take my work home with me, other than some rants now and then, so this has really impacted my life.
Did I mention I passed?
It's a good day!
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