Today I quit. Well,
actually as I was rolling through the drive thru of Culver's getting cheese
curds and two scoops of Oreo volcano custard last night I’d have to say I knew
I was quitting. Quitting. Giving it up.
Calling it a day. You know, all
that stuff.
I even had someone go through a list of things that if you
answered yes to would be great motivation to keep going but I answered honest
no, no, no to all of them.
I don’t feel better.
I don’t feel stronger.
My skin is so fucked up I look like I have birthmarks on my
ankles and the patches of dried skin are popping up everywhere.
I have no energy.
My clothes don’t fit.
I pushed it at the gym Wednesday and I’m still paying for it
and reminded with Every. Single. Step. I’m. Handicapped.
I’m tired. I am so
very tired. Not being able to fix the
things I want to fix makes me feel like such a failure and I know I’m just
wallowing in emotions, but that’s where I am right now.
I’m not saying I’m quitting forever … just for now. I give up.
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