Talking with my cousin today I realized it’s 8 weeks until I’m supposed to close on my house. Something about it being eight weeks kind of got me. When I started this process it was January. Talking about four months in the future seem like forever.
I drove by the building site today and they are starting to frame it up. There is wood going up around the foundation and I see the true beginnings of what will be my home. I find that very exciting.
I drove by the building site today and they are starting to frame it up. There is wood going up around the foundation and I see the true beginnings of what will be my home. I find that very exciting.
After that I stopped at my sister-in-law’s store to check out mattresses and bed frames. I’m downsizing to a queen size bed because that’s what most practical and I really want a fresh start. Ended up getting a bed with an adjustable frame so I can put my feet and head up and down and it also has massage features. I laugh about that part.
Wasn’t until after I left that it hit me… Buying a new mattress was such a big deal to Michael and I and this time I did it alone. I’m doing things that he’s not a part of and it makes my heart ache a little bit. Plus I feel that leaving our king size bed behind is like leaving a part of him behind. There is an amount of guilt, definitely a large amount of sadness. Sometimes I feel like I’m not moving on, I’m moving away. It’s hard because you want to hold onto so many memories, grasping them as tightly to you as you can. But the reality is they are just memories, they’re not the stuff, not the material items.
It’s hard because you want to hold onto so many memories, grasping them as tightly to you as you can. But the reality is they are just memories, they’re not the stuff, not the material items. Still I feel that parting with his stuff means I’m leaving parts of him behind. I feel like I’m abandoning him and I’m really having a hard time with that today.
Still I feel that parting with his stuff means I’m leaving parts of him behind. I feel like I’m abandoning him and I’m really having a hard time with that today.
In a little over two months I’ll be leaving this house for the last time. It won’t be the home that he and I shared anymore. It will be getting a little sprucing up and then going on the market for someone else to call home. I’m not sure how I feel about that. My wish is that whoever does live here shares as much love and laughter is Michael and I did.
I will never lose the memories of the time shared at this house, but I know that there will be happy memories made in my new house.
No comments:
Post a Comment